A Different Type of Fetch

Hm, she said we were going to play fetch! So why are these on my head?


A professional (dog) model never lets knitted goods phase her!


Finally, my ears are warm. Now, take these off!

My Life as a Cover Dog, by Mingus

B: "Mingus, your modeling career has taken off! Just months ago, people only knew you as Vespa's brother or got you mixed up with a jazz composer and bassist. Now, the name Mingus makes people think of your pure genius."

M: "Thanks, Barbara. I always knew that I would be famous. It has always been a matter of 'when', not 'if'."

B: "Tell me about your breakthrough."

M: "Well, Barbara, the pivotal point had to be my Lord of the Rings shoot. I was hired to be an extra hobbit, but after the photographer saw my mad skillz, she pulled me aside and let me be the lead. I was Frodo! One ring to rule them all!"

B: "Let's discuss your famous photo. Mingus, what were you thinking about here?"



M: "I was channeling my feelings when Vespa gets a treat and I don't. I'm sad. I'm distraught. I can't believe it. Life is so unfair. "

B: "That's fascinating! How about this picture? What was going through your mind?"



M: "Oh, that's a good story. I was thinking about this other time that the cats got a treat and I was not allowed to eat it. I wasn't even allowed in the same room. My guardians made me sit and stay while they fed those cats treat after treat after treat. I get all riled up just thinking about it now!"

B: "Wow, that is heavy. You are really abused by your guardians!"

M:"I know, I know. However, there are good times. Like the times I get treats. In this next shot, you can see me channeling my feelings when I do get a succulent, delicious treat. I am happy! I am thrilled! I am ecstatic!"



B: "Uh, I see a central theme here..."

M: "Hey, Barbara. Do you have any treats?"

B: "No, sorry."

M: "What? You mean I wasted my time for nothing? There's no payoff? Later, lady. I am so done with you and your stupid questions."

Uncle!

I've been trying to finish my mother's wrap furiously since Monday. Alas, I still have three more balls to knit - I am only half way done and it has taken me two weeks to get this far. Unless I decide to pick up a nasty coke habit, there is no way I can finish this in time to give it to her on Saturday. Since I was lame and did not buy her anything for her birthday, I told her that she would get a hand knit wrap by me, her loving daughter. The reason it was not sent to her in time for her birthday was because it was, uh, too precious to send via mail. (Yep, in reality, it was not finished. Lame.)

Okay, so I could have held off on making my socks. I could have held off on starting the boy's socks. There are so many ways that this story could have had a happy ending.

So, now that I have totally given up hope, the dogs get to model it. That will lift my spirits a bit, although some might call it procrastination...

B: "Vespa, how did you get to be America's Next Top Dog model?"

V: "Well, Barbara, it's all luck. My mother had a penchant for posting photos of me on dog message boards and knitting blogs. I would've never dreamed I'd be America's Next Top Dog model!"

B: "Is it true that she posted pictures and blogged as a form of procrastination?"

V: "Oh, I don' t know if I would put it that way...."



B: "Vespa, you are just famous for working those knitted garments! It is unbelievable how you can pull of so many looks with the same outfit!"

V: "I have to give credit to my mom. She has the best treats and she really knows how to use them! Sometimes, she pretends like I'm not going to get the treat and I become sad or angry. Other times, she move the treat around and around so I look happy! Lots of times, she doesn't even have a treat - she likes to keep me on my toes."

B: "I hear that you have other siblings. Do they exhibit the same knack for modeling?"

V: "Well, Barbara, we are all adopted, so we don't share the same gene pool. Plus, two of them are cats so they aren't even the same species! My brother Mingus has tried to break into the dog modeling world, but he has had mixed success. Most agents say that he only has two looks: goofy and goofier. I tend to agree."

B: "Oh, well look who's joined us! It is Mingus. So Mingus, what is it like to have such a famous sister?"

M: "Lady, do you have any treats? Will you scratch my belly?"


B: "Um, no... No treats, but-"

M: "Later, lady."

[Damn, my wrap didn't just knit itself while I played on the Internet. Double damn!]